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200601024 Noh Young Sun Something Great What I find to be exceptionnaly great is a simple fact that I 'm still alive. It may sound cheesy to some of you, but now and then, my eyes get misty at the very thought of me having one more day to see my family , closest friends, and most importantly, just to be who I truly am. It feels great to be alive thanks to simple things in life that make my life worthwhile, but which I shamefully take for granted more often then not ; going to school, taking classes, having lunch with my closest friends, living under the same roof with my beloved family, etc... Frankly speaking, this feeling of gratitude is something that does not alwaus fill my heart ; I often tend to focus too much on what I do not have or problems that lie ahead right in front of me. However, awareness of life has definitely been my tower of strength whenever I feel like throwing in the towel. In times of distress and hardship, I gain strength from these blessings ,which I often pitifully forget when my life is a smooth sailing. There is an Englsih saying that goes ' Stop and smell the roses.' Let us take some time to think about what we have that is truly great. All of us are presented with the greatest treasure that we cannnot find elsewhere. That is life... |
Sunday, September 12, 2010
200601024 Noh Young Sun Something Great
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ReplyDeleteTo-Noh Young Sun From - Jitendra Kumar Gupta Assignment – 2010-09-08
1. What I like about this piece of writing is zeal to survive.
2. Your main point seems to be cleared.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
Words or lines - I often tend to focus too much on what I do not have or problems that lie ahead right in front of me.
I like them because this line deals with self awareness.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, and writing not lively):
Lines or parts- awareness of life has definitely been my tower of strength whenever I feel like throwing in the towel.
Need improving because meaning is not cleared.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is I would like to rename the title from “something great to gratitude towards nearer and dearer”
From Evergreen, 8th Ed./Houghton-Miffflin
Peer Feedback
ReplyDeleteTo Noh Young Sun from Seonyoung Blair Hwang
1. What I like about this piece of writing is your gratitude toward life. Not many people regard life as a blessing but you tried to think it as a precious thing.
2. Your main point seems to be happiness of living life.
3. "It feels great to be alive thanks to simple things in life that make my life worthwhile" struck me because you tried to mention your life being enriched thanks to tiny things, not the great things. Impreesive :)
4. "However, awareness of life has definitely been my tower of strength whenever I feel like throwing in the towel." It doesn't clear to me. I think it was a kind of metaphor, it does not give clear meaning, though.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is spelling mistakes;definitely, exceptionnaly, and so on. make your paper not well-organized writing and it makes readers confused.