Taking Sooneung(Korean SAT) once again
In June 2008, I han an experience that changed my life entirely. I decided to taking Sooneung again, because I wanted to study English Literature in Hankuk University of Foreign Studies. So I registered an famous instutiute. At first, studying all day long was really hard for me. To get used to it, it took about two weeks. I made my time scheduler and wrote it always. I got up at six in the morning and took calsses until 5 p.m. And then, I studied for myself until 11o'clock. It was really tough, so I sometimes wanted to go out side and gave up. However, my friends and teachers helped me to not give up and encouraged me. Thanks to them, I could keep studying. Time went by, and finally I took Sooneung and got the grade that I wanted. So now I'm a student of H.U.F.S. and I'm really enjoying my life here. This experience makes me realize that I can do whatever I want if I do my best. I'll never forget this experience that changed me and my life.
1. What I like about this piece of writing is your writing is very easy to read. The connection between the sentences is very good. And this is your real-experice, so it evokes sympathy.
ReplyDelete2. Your main point seems to be if we do our best, there's nothing we cannot do.
3. made my time scheduler and wrote it always. I got up at six in the morning and took calsses until 5 p.m. And then, I studied for myself until 11o'clock.
-> With this vivid description, readers understand you more easily.
4. none
5. If you write your topic sentence at the beginning, it is more easy to find the topic. Actually, I confused your topic unitl this sentence'This experience makes me realize that I can do whatever I want if I do my best.' Before I read this sentence , I think your topic is 'friends & teachers are great in my life'
To Yu Hyelee from Kim Kyung Un AssignmentWeek2
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that it is easy to understand. Also, personal experience is written in detail, so it makes the writing more interesting.
2. Your main point seems to be clear. It hooks the reader by saying that the experience changed her life. However,I think it would be much better to include that deciding to take "suneng" was the experience, such as "Taking suneng was a life changing experience for me."
3. I liked this sentence, "This experience makes me realize that I can do whatever I want if I do my best." Because, I also had a life changing experience while preparing my self to get accepted by this university.
4. none. I liked how you specifically explained how it was difficult to achieve your goal.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is to edit several times before posting your writing up on this blog. I can see some grammer mistakes here and there.