200900547 Kim Si Eun
p.51 Descriptive Esaay Wed 78
HanBok for special day
Do you want to be greater for special day? How about dressing up Korean traditional clothes, Hanbok? I'm sure Hanbok will make you special. Because Hanbbok can be various, colorful and useful clothes to you.
Hanbok is various clothes in its design, it's different depending on who you are. For men, It consists of pants and shirts called jeogori. Women wear Jeogori but they wear skirts. Depending on ages, we can wear different style clothes. Younger girl bind their hair with a ribbon called Daenggi. On the other hands, older women wear Binyeo in their heads. Hanbok is also colorful clothes. Korea has its own traditional color called Oh-Bang color. It includes red, blue, yellow, white and black colors. These colors have their own meaning. and come from Yin-and the five elements theory. It means its color represent directions-north, south, east, west and center. Using those colors properly, we can make colors' harmony and beauty. And its color is not same as you know before for example, blue color looks like autumn sky. It's not all blue but it seems mixing white white. For yellow, it's similar qija flower. That flower color is not too bright but it's little dim. Last reason whiy I recommend Hanbok is that Hanbok is useful clothes to wear. Hanbok has changed time to time.Long time ago, Hanbok was too long to wear or has lots of ornaments. These days, for satisfying people's need, Hanbok become more shorter and easy to wear. For instance, there's coat string called Goreum which help closing shirts, but it changed to button.
So why not trying Hanbok right now? you can be the special person with Hanbok.
Assignment #3
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is its composition style. Each paragraph naturally leads me to the next step(paragraph) according to different elements on the clothes such as brief characteristics of Hanbok, meaning of each elements, comparison of old, traditional Hanbok with the modern, changed one.
2. Your main point seems to be Hanbok, Korean traditional Clothes.
3. This particular line strucks me as powerful: 'Using those colors properly, we can make colors' harmony and beauty.', because this lets us know quiet original characteristic of Hanbok.
4. Some things aren't clear to me. First of all, The first line of this writing, 'Do you want to be greater for special day?' was not really clear to be understood at a first sight that I think that its function as hook didn't work well since 'great' could mean several things. So, this line could be improved: Do you want to look greater(prettier) for some special days?
Secondly, 'Using those colors properly, we can make colors' harmony and beauty.' -> 'By using those colors properly, those could be in harmony and seem beautiful.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is to add more phrases in the conclusion to make a summary of the body in terms of great characteristics of Hanbok in order to let readers have more desire to wear hanbok.
To Kim Si Eun From Kim Kyung Un
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is how the writer describes in great detail on Hanbok. It was easy to understand what Hanbok is and how it has special meanings.
2. Your main point seems to be "Hanbbok can be various, colorful and useful clothes to you"
3. ' These colors have their own meaning. and come from Yin-and the five elements theory' sentence was interesting and I wanted to findout the special hidden meanings to those colors.
4. There were many sentences that could have been looked more rich with expressions by using adjectives, adverbs...
5. The introduction and conclusion paragraph seemed too short. Too much information was condensed in the body paragraph. I think the essay could have been better with a more interesting hook sentence and a conclusion paragraph which organizes the main points the writer mentioned in the beginning.