Monday, October 11, 2010

pg.67 Wonderful teacher - 200902732 LEE JI SUK

 

200902732 LEE JI SUK / WED78 / P.49 Descriptive essay

 

 So far, I met a lot of good teachers in my life. It was hard to pick just one person as my best teacher, finally I chose KimmyungOk as my best teacher because she gave me lessons in manners. When I was elementary school student, I was daring and somewhat rude, so some teachers often scolded me but I usually ignored them and believed that I was right. Then, when I became 13, I met her as my homeroom teacher. She had a fierce look, but I continued to cause troubles.

  One day, I made a picture frame during art class with her help. When we finished our works, she made us put the picture frame at the back. There was a friend who is cross-eyed(사시) in our class, and that day one of my friend brought her picture which she took secretly several weeks ago. I received that picture my friend, and I put that picture in frame out of fun and put my frame at the back of the classroom. Some classmates laughed at that picture, but several hours after, I noticed that my picture frame disappeared. Then, teacher called me and I came to stand in front of her. She asked me that who took that picture, I couldn't reply that it was my friend. I kept silent, then she was very upset. She explained that my friend in the picture is cross-eyed and I marked her for life. That time, I didn't know what the cross-eye exactly means and how she suffered from the stress it gives. I just wanted to make my classmates laugh, but I realized that it was really stupid behavior and I cried. My teacher made me sincerely apologize to her and my friend accepted my apology.

  From that day on, I tried to be considerate of other peoples' feelings and changed little by little. I can't say that I'm a thoughtful person now, but I'm not a rude anymore thanks to my teacher's teaching. I still think of her teaching whenever I want to make fun of someone out of fun, and I will not able to forget her.

3 comments:

  1. To Lee JIsuk From Yu Hyelee(200902149)
    Assignment 2010-10-11

    1. What I like about this piece of writing is your body paragraph because I could see your theme by reading a story of your childhood. In think this form makes readers to understand your point easily.
    2. Your main point seems to be your homeroom teacher Kin Kyoungok who taught you a manner.
    3. "That time, I didn't know what the cross-eye exactly means and how she suffered from the stress it gives." struck me because in this sentence, I could know well what you realized from your teacher's saying.
    4. Some things aren’t clear to me; “There was a friend who is cross-eyed(사시) in our class, and that day one of my friend brought her picture which she took secretly several weeks ago." While I read it, I was bit confused because there's her and she and I thought that those two people are the same but actually they're different. This sentence would be much better if you clearly distinguish your friend who took a photo and a cross-eyed friend.
    5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is adding more description of your teacher. That would make this writing more interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  2. To Lee Ji Suk from Mijin Yi

    1. What I like about this piece of writing is your detailed story related to your best teacher ever.
    2. Your main point seems to be your best teacher ever named Kim Myungok whom you met at the age of 13.
    4. Some things aren't clear to me: "I received that picture my friend, and I put that picture in frame out of fun and put my frame at the back of the classroom. Some classmates laughed at that picture, but several hours after, I noticed that my picture frame disappeared."
    -I can't understand well what was happening with these sentences.

    5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is to add a hook in the beginning of your writing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LEEJISUK_second draftOctober 27, 2010 at 10:19 AM

    200902732 LEE JI SUK / WED78 / P.67 Descriptive essay (second draft)

    Everyone has their best teacher in their lives. So far, I met a lot of good teachers in my life. It was hard to pick just one person as my best teacher, finally I chose KimmyungOk as my best teacher because she helped me in many ways, especially she gave me lessons in manners. When I was elementary school student, I was daring and somewhat rude, so some teachers often scolded me but I usually ignored them and believed that I was right. Then, when I became 13, I met her as my homeroom teacher. She was so thin and had a fierce look that everybody in my class was afraid of her. Her rule was very strict and she hit our hips with a club, but I continued to cause troubles.

    One day, I made a picture frame during art class with her help. When we finished our works, she made us put the picture frame at the back. There was a friend who is cross-eyed(사시) in our class, and that day one of my friend, named Inae, brought cross-eyed friend's picture which Inae took secretly several weeks ago. Inae distributed the pictures to some of our classmates, I also received that picture from her, and I put that picture in my frame out of fun and put the frame at the back of the classroom. Many classmates came to see that picture and laughed at cross-eyed friend, and I felt a high from making my friend laugh. Several hours after, I noticed that my picture frame disappeared. Then, teacher called me and I came to stand in front of her. She asked me that who took that picture, I couldn't reply that it was Inae. I kept silent, then she became very upset. She explained that my friend in the picture is cross-eyed and I marked her for life. That time, I didn't know what the cross-eye exactly means and how she suffered from the stress it gives. I just wanted to make my classmates laugh, but I realized that it was really stupid behavior and I cried. My teacher made me sincerely apologize to her and she accepted my apology. I explained the story to Inae, and she regretted distributing funny pictures of cross-eyed friend and collected them again from our classmates.

    From that day on, I tried to be considerate of other peoples' feelings, it was not easy to change myself, but as I continued my efforts, I changed little by little. I can't say that I'm a thoughtful person now, but I'm not a impertinence anymore thanks to teacher Kimmyungok's teaching. I still think of her teaching whenever I want to make fun of someone out of fun. 8years passed, but I still get in touch with her and even met her daughter. I will not able to forget her forever who gave me unforgettable teaching in my life.

    ReplyDelete

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