Dreadful Piano Lessons
Learning new things can be daunting and stressful for all of us, especially when we try to learn things that are way out of our comfort zone. I took piano lessons from my grand mother. In general, people tend to avoid doing things that they are not unfamiliar with. There are a handful of adventure seekers who are willing to try new things, but most of us are prone to become conformists who are afraid of change or new ideas. However, stepping out of our own comfort zone and trying different things can enrich our lives and souls, even though it could be painstaking and hard in the beginning. The learned this lesson the hard way through the piano lessons that I took from my grandmother when I was little.
When I was a second grade in elementary school, my dad made me take piano lessons from my grandmother so that I could spend more quality time with her. My grandparents used to live just a stone's throw away from where I and my family lived, so I went there twice a week after school to learn the piano and have dinner with them afterwards. Truth be told I just wanted to go sideways and play in the playground, since it was totally against my will. My grandmother was not exactly the nicest and funniest teacher in the planet. She was old school when it comes to teaching kids. Whenever she put on glasses to teach me, she would turn into this stone faced old lady who neat- picked every mistake that I made. The books that we used were Bach, Chereney and Sonatine which were so boring that could put you instantly to sleep. Learning to read music was just dead difficult. My grandmother scolded me a lot since I was rather slow in reading the notes. She used to correct the positions of the fingertips on the scale and told me a million times that my hands did not make a shape of an arch when playing the piano. She did not let one mistake slide. Whenever I hit the wrong keys, She would made me play that part over and over again until I get that part right. It was a real torture. Years later, I called it quits and my mother started giving me lessons instead but it fizzled out after a certain period of time.
Even though I dreaded every minute of the piano lessons, now I feel that it was worth the pain. Not only do I have an ear for classical music, but also I can play the pieces on my own. The thrill that you get on your fingertips when they touch the scales of the piano when playing your favorite songs is something that people who do not play the musical instrument could never ever experience. Those hours of utter nightmare was indeed worth it.
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Sunday, October 24, 2010
Page 76~78 First draft 200601024 Noh Young Sun
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1. What I like about this piece of writing is some interesting descriptive phrases such as " to live just a stone's throw away from" " She did not let one mistake slide", "she would turn into this stone faced ", etc.
ReplyDelete2. Your main point seems to be your piano lessons with your grand mother.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful: "The thrill that you get on your fingertips when they touch the scales of the piano when playing your favorite songs is something that people who do not play the musical instrument could never ever experience."
because this sentence allows us to imagine the feeling of our fingers' touch on the piano and as a person who knows playing piano, I entirely agree with her.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
"The learned this lesson the hard way through the piano lessons that I took from my grandmother when I was little."
I cannnot guess what you are saying with this sentence.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is more details about how you felt on your piano lessons with your grandparents. It could be sad or you might cry out one day because of her harsh scolding. If there is a specific episode, this writing would be more interesting.
1. What I like about this piece of writing is expression of how you felt when you are taking a piano lesson from your grandma.
ReplyDelete2. Your main point seems to be piano lesson with your grandmother.
3. ‘Truth be told I just wanted to go sideways and play in the playground, since it was totally against my will.’ struck me as powerful: I can imagine what you are trying to say.
4. ‘Years later, I called it quits and my mother started giving me lessons instead but it fizzled out after a certain period of time.’ It would be great if you shorten your sentence. 5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is introduction. The sentences are mixed up. It would be great if you just mention one time of grandmother. And to me it seems like too general.
To Cheong Kyung Seo From Yu Hyelee
ReplyDelete1. What I like about your writing is the hook you use in the first paragraph. Because I could agree you and can more focus on your essay.
2. Your main point seems to be that your grandmother's piano lesson.
3. In your essay, I liked the sentence, "However, stepping out of our own comfort zone and trying different things can enrich our lives and souls, even though it could be painstaking and hard in the beginning." I like it because it has your whole opinion very clearly.
4. The sentence "Years later, I called it quits and my mother started giving me lessons instead but it fizzled out after a certain period of time." isn't clear to me. I hope you to write a little bit more precisely.
5. The biggest improvement you can make in your writing, in my opinion, is the last paragraph. I think it would be much better if you restate the thesis statement as it appeared in the first paragraph.
↑Oops I have to change Cheong Kyungseo to Noh Youngsun.. Sorry...
ReplyDelete