| A new outcome of the technology, Smart Phone
These days most of people in the subway seems to be occupied with something, constantly looking at it, watching videos from it or sending text messages. What they are holding in their hands is 3G or 4G cell phone, so called 'smart phone', which opened a new era in people's lives. With this new mechanic people became able to do things with just a tip of a finger and enjoy a new life style. The smart phone provided a great access of entertainment and utility to people. People began to enjoy a new and fun entertainment through so called 'Apps', a short term of 'Application'. For instance with apps called 'Kakao talk', 'Who are you' and etc, people with smart phones are able to make contacts with each other very conveniently. With only these apps and free internet which, with smart phone people can catch it and use it very easily, making contact with friends and even strangers who use smart phones became an natural phenomenon. Moreover, with apps that provide convenient life style, for instance, apps that allows people to buy movie tickets or make it easy to access to the banks, have made people use their time more effectively. Without making trips to the banks or to the theaters with only a tip of a finger, people can do whatever they have to do. Some people worry that smart phones will invade people's privacy and make people more isolated in the cyber world. This worry has its point; most of the smart phone applications want people's private information if one tries to use it, and it can lead to an phenomenon of people neglecting their real lives and living in the cyber world. However, in my opinion these are minor bad side of using the smart phones. The smart phones are leading people's lives in more rich and convenient way of living which was impossible before the invention of smart phone occurred. Smart phone users are now benefiting a new way of life style that one couldn't think of before it was invented. With this new mechanism all of us who are living in this time are able to hold the access to the new life style. If it is wisely used, it can be a key to the new entertaining and conventional life. |
Sunday, October 31, 2010
pg 93 First draft / 200800759 Ju Yeon Kim
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From Yu Hyelee To Kim Juyeon
ReplyDelete(200902149 Yu Hyelee)
1. Does the essay have three paragraphs?
→ Yes, it has.
2. Does the introduction include a hook to get the reader's attention along with background information?
→ Yes, I think it’s really interesting and gives many information of smart phone.
3. Is the writer's opinion about the issue clearly stated in the thesis statement?
→ Yes, very clearly.
4. Does the body paragraph contain facts and reasons that support the opinion?
→ Yes!!
5. The points that you understand and agree with and explain why you agree.
→ “However, in my opinion these are minor bad side of using the smart phones..”
I agree with this sentence because I think that strong points of smart phone are far bigger than the weak points as you said.
6. Write one or two questions about something that needs clarification or additional support.
→ Can you tell what smart phone affects your life?
→ Why the bad side of smart phone is minor?
1. Yes, it has three paragraphs.
ReplyDelete2. Yes, it has a hook and background information.
3. Yes, it clearly shows the using of smart phone.
4. Yes, it contains function of smart phone such as application.
5. ‘With only these apps and free internet which, with smart phone people can catch it and use it very easily, making contact with friends and even strangers who use smart phones became an natural phenomenon.’ I agree with this sentence. I could see that this phenomenon is frequently emerging.
6. I think there needs more clarification on cyber world. It seems it does not really related to smart phone.
200800759 Ju Yeon Kim, second draft
ReplyDeleteA new outcome of the technology, Smart Phone
These days most of people in the subway seems to be occupied with something, constantly looking at it, watching videos from it or sending text messages with it. What they are holding in their hands is 3G or 4G cell phone, so called 'smart phone', which opened a new era in people's lives. With this new mechanic people became able to do things with just a tip of their finger and enjoy a new life style.
The smart phone provided a great access of entertainment and utility to people. People began to enjoy a new and fun entertainment through so called 'Apps', a short term of 'Application'. For instance with apps called 'Kakao talk', 'Who are you' and more, people with smart phones are able to make contacts with each other very conveniently. With only these apps and free internet which, with smart phone people can catch it and use very easily, making contact with friends and even strangers who use smart phones became an natural thing to do. Moreover, with apps that provide convenient life style, for instance, apps that allows people to buy movie tickets or make it easy to access to the banks, have made people use their time more effectively. Without making trips to the banks or to the theaters with only a tip of a finger, people can do whatever they have to do. Some people worry that smart phones will invade people's privacy and make people neglect what's happening in the real world. This worry has its point; most of the smart phone applications want people's private information if one tries to use it. Moreover, it can lead to an phenomenon of people neglecting their real lives and loosing the sense of reality since people can become addicted to a new world where it provides a new kind of entertainment. However, in my opinion these are minor bad side of using the smart phones. The people who have smart phones are enjoying a new style of life; a convenient and more entertaining life style than before. The smart phones are leading people's lives in more rich and convenient way of living which was impossible before the invention of smart phone occurred.
Smart phone users are now benefiting a new way of life style that one couldn't think of before it was invented. With this new mechanism all of us who are living in this time are able to hold the access to the new life style. If it is wisely used, it can be a key to the new entertaining and conventional life.