Road view of Daum
I have no sense of direction. For example, I usually turn left unconsciously when I meet a forked road, so I often get lost. Also, I don't walk street looking surroundings carefully when I walk unfamiliar road. So, I have concern about going to a strange place.
However, one day I heard a notice very wonderful to me that Daum (a portal site) made a road view. It shows figures of all parts of the country. When I search a some place (ex. Jongno, Kyeongbokgung etc.), I can see all scenes around that place. It is very useful especially for me. When I have to go some place, I can go there in a roundabout way by showing photos of this site. Actually, I never got lost after I using it. Also, when I forgot to visit some store and to check something of that store, I look up that store by road view, and I see the number of that store which is written at figurehead. Thanks to road view, I also can save time. In addition, it is funny to look around various streets by this smart program when I am bored.
Road view is very amazing. It makes my lifestyle differently. Now I don't worry about going other place, it became interest to me. So when I have to choose the best invention that happened in my life, I choose Road view without thinking other things.
From Yu Hyelee To Lee Sujin
ReplyDelete(200902149 ELI Yu Hyelee)
1. Does the essay have three paragraphs?
→Yes, it has three paragraphs.
2. Does the introduction include a hook to get the reader's attention along with background information?
→I’m not so sure about its hook. Because I also don’t have sense of direction, I agree with you, and get attracted but I think it is bit too direct. I hope you to add more explanation in your hook.
3. Is the writer's opinion about the issue clearly stated in the thesis statement?
→I think that it’s not that clear. I could find what the thesis is but it was little bit hard for me to find the exact thesis statement sentence.
4. Does the body paragraph contain facts and reasons that support the opinion?
→Yes, it has facts and reasons.
5. The points that you understand and agree with and explain why you agree.
→ “So, I have concern about going to a strange place.”
I agree with this because I always do the same thing just as you. It’s really hard for me, either.
6. Write one or two questions about something that needs clarification or additional support.
→You said that road view is amazing and I want you to explain more.
→Can you give one example that you found your way so easily?
From Kim Kyugn Un To Lee Sujin
ReplyDelete1. Yes
2. It has a simple hook. Maybe, the writer should decorate the first sentence into a more interesting one.
3. No, I think the writer's opinion is stated in the second paragraph instead of mentioned in the introductory paragraph as a thesis statement.
4. It contains reasons why he thinks Daum road view is useful to him. However, I think he mentions about his experience with it not the facts.
5. I understand that the writer thinks the Daum road view is amazing because of how it is useful and convenient for him.
6. However, i think it is important to organize the writing better. Specific points should be shown in the second paragraph and then, detailize with experiences and examples. Also, the first paragraph needs a strong thesis statement. The conclusion paragraph would contain something that wraps up the whole story instead of writing the thesis statement again.