Science Exposition on Water Hyacinth
Have you heard of a plant called 'water hyacinth' seen a green plant flowing on the water which is often seen at flower stores- if you are lucky, you can see the one with its violet flower-? Each time I see it anywhere I am such as on the street, in the nature or at someone's home, especially with its beautiful flower, it reminds me when I was on the third grade of elementary school, ten-year-old which could be one of the best moments in my school life.
It is about an exposition in various scientistic themes varying from astonomy to biology in which I participated in at that time. Since I met a teacher who was already quite old, seemingly around at the age of my grand-parents for my one-year school life on the third grade and who was my first male teacher in my life, I would feel very familiar with him and he was already very warm-hearted, friendly with us despite a big generation gap between him and his students including me. One day, he asked me, who was at that time a class monitor('banjang' in Korean) talk for a while after the school even to another friend, second vice monitor('bu banjang') as well. And then, he proposed us to participate in a rechearch about the growth of water hyacinth followed by an exposition in theme of science, which only a couple of representatives of each school in Korea would be supposed to participate in. Until Such time as I was proposed this opportunity from him, I had never thought of such a thing and I had not been pond of science but just a little interested in it. As soon as I heard him, I slightly hesitated because alike my external appearance, I was rather shy than brave and not a very active child to do such a 'big' event. On the other hand, I requestioned to myself why not me. I decided therefore to agree with his proposal. A few days later, we started to prepare the exposition from looking for some water hyacinth necessary for our new research and continued it by observing and taking notes even several times a day on the plants' growth. I was really excited to observe its growth and its caracteristics like how it could flow on the water, what roles its roots had, etc. Furthermore, since this plant was very sensible in sunlight, every day, there were some remarkable changes in terms of growth. However, what we needed more was its flower but I had not had any by now, even if the day of our presentation was coming up. We were getting more and more nervous not to have it. Each break time between classes, as soon as I arrived at school, and even after my school, I would go to the labotatory see if a new flower had appeared with flattering feeling. Finally, 2 weeks before D-day, we decided to prepare our presentation except about its flower despite our big lack feeling of the fact. My friend, charged teacher and myself would make a presentation and repeat over and over again whenever we had a free time. Even at home, I would continuously read the script for the presentation and some exercises before my family. Finally, It was on the exhibition' day. I became very tense and I was not sure if I would do it well at the real time that I even could neither eat anything nor swallow my saliva. My mouth had got dry up like a desert sand and my heart was beating up very rapidly that It seemed to burst out. I do not remember anymore how the presentation went out. I can not recall what I said. All the thing was blank out before my eyes and I seemed to be completely alone at the place without any one letter. The only thing I have in my mind was that it was my most nervous moment by now and I thought for a second that my heart had been broken down.
Throughout this only experience, I became much braver and got proud of myself who had done the presentation seemed to me impossible in the beginning. After that, if I had a good opportunity like the presentation to improve my ability, I did not anymore hesitate to try it and was not afraid of doing a new thing I had never done before. Furthermore, I got sure that if there was something really interesting to me, I would be able to know by myself about it just with my passion to it and even to be an expert on it.
It is about an exposition in various scientistic themes varying from astonomy to biology in which I participated in at that time. Since I met a teacher who was already quite old, seemingly around at the age of my grand-parents for my one-year school life on the third grade and who was my first male teacher in my life, I would feel very familiar with him and he was already very warm-hearted, friendly with us despite a big generation gap between him and his students including me. One day, he asked me, who was at that time a class monitor('banjang' in Korean) talk for a while after the school even to another friend, second vice monitor('bu banjang') as well. And then, he proposed us to participate in a rechearch about the growth of water hyacinth followed by an exposition in theme of science, which only a couple of representatives of each school in Korea would be supposed to participate in. Until Such time as I was proposed this opportunity from him, I had never thought of such a thing and I had not been pond of science but just a little interested in it. As soon as I heard him, I slightly hesitated because alike my external appearance, I was rather shy than brave and not a very active child to do such a 'big' event. On the other hand, I requestioned to myself why not me. I decided therefore to agree with his proposal. A few days later, we started to prepare the exposition from looking for some water hyacinth necessary for our new research and continued it by observing and taking notes even several times a day on the plants' growth. I was really excited to observe its growth and its caracteristics like how it could flow on the water, what roles its roots had, etc. Furthermore, since this plant was very sensible in sunlight, every day, there were some remarkable changes in terms of growth. However, what we needed more was its flower but I had not had any by now, even if the day of our presentation was coming up. We were getting more and more nervous not to have it. Each break time between classes, as soon as I arrived at school, and even after my school, I would go to the labotatory see if a new flower had appeared with flattering feeling. Finally, 2 weeks before D-day, we decided to prepare our presentation except about its flower despite our big lack feeling of the fact. My friend, charged teacher and myself would make a presentation and repeat over and over again whenever we had a free time. Even at home, I would continuously read the script for the presentation and some exercises before my family. Finally, It was on the exhibition' day. I became very tense and I was not sure if I would do it well at the real time that I even could neither eat anything nor swallow my saliva. My mouth had got dry up like a desert sand and my heart was beating up very rapidly that It seemed to burst out. I do not remember anymore how the presentation went out. I can not recall what I said. All the thing was blank out before my eyes and I seemed to be completely alone at the place without any one letter. The only thing I have in my mind was that it was my most nervous moment by now and I thought for a second that my heart had been broken down.
Throughout this only experience, I became much braver and got proud of myself who had done the presentation seemed to me impossible in the beginning. After that, if I had a good opportunity like the presentation to improve my ability, I did not anymore hesitate to try it and was not afraid of doing a new thing I had never done before. Furthermore, I got sure that if there was something really interesting to me, I would be able to know by myself about it just with my passion to it and even to be an expert on it.
1. What I like about this piece of writing is your explanation about science project.
ReplyDelete2. Your main point seems to be your science presentation.
3. 'Have you heard of a plant called ‘water hyacinth’ seen a green plant flowing on the water which is often seen at flower stores- if you are lucky, you can see the one with its violet flower-?': I like the way you are trying to begin your writing. And it makes me curious to read your writing.
4. 'Each time I see it anywhere I am such as on the street, in the nature or at someone’s home, especially with its beautiful flower, it reminds me when I was on the third grade of elementary school, ten-year-old which could be one of the best moments in my school life.' It would be great if you shorten your sentence. It’s too long to figure out what you saying.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is organization. I think it could be much better if you divide your body paragraph into two. And there is too much modifier.
From Noh Young Sun to MiJin Yi
ReplyDelete1. What an interesting choice of topic!
2. Your main point seems to be that the presentation about water hyacinth that you gave when you were a elementary school student helped you build up self confidence and become a brave person that you are today.
3.I like this part of your essay 'My friend, charged teacher and myself would make a presentation and repeat over and over again whenever we had a free time. Even at home, I would continuously read the script for the presentation and some exercises before my family', because it vividly describes how dedicated you were to the project.
4. 'Finally, 2 weeks before D-day, we decided to prepare our presentation except about its flower despite our big lack feeling about the fact.' I don't understand this sentence. What does ' the fact' indicate? What happened to the flower?
5. I think your body paragraph has too many details, yet some of the important information is missing. For instance, when and where was the exposition held? How was the result? and How did the audience react to your presentation? What happened to the flower? etc. If you revise your body paragraph, your essay will be much more interesting^^
From KiM sI Eun
ReplyDelete1.what i like is your lovely writing skills in explanations
2.Your main point seems to be your presentation
3.Throughout this only experience, I became much braver and got proud of myself who had done the presentation seemed to me impossible in the beginning it show your proud and pleasure about your experiecence
4. none
5.I think dividing your body part and describing only main point will make your writing more impressive