Intro to Writing Wed 7, 8
P 67 first draft
200902149 ELI Yu Hyelee
Wonderful teacher, Hong sangchae
I had quiet tough time when I studied for Sooneung in 2008. At that time, I didn't sure about myself and lost self esteem. I failed on June and September test and started doubting myself. However, my homeroom teacher believed me and he always gave me the power to keep going on. Every morning he smiled and encouraged me.
I start my Sooneung study in July of 2008 after finishing my first semester of university. At that time, I was very distracted and not familiar with studying all day long because I was used to being university student. Besides, I failed on my mock test so I was always mad at myself and didn't believe myself. However, my home teacher, Hong Sangchae, always softly said that you can do it and do not give up. At first, I was bit annoyed by him because I thought that he was just saying that words without really think about it. However, every morning when he saw me, he said words of encouragement to me and I started to trust him. Besides, when I was really was under a lot of pressure and wanted to get out of institute, he believed me and let me go out. For this, I was really impressed and be thankful for him because I could feel that he trust me very much. When I felt devastated, he always listen me carefully even when I was crying loudly. His calm and tender voice soothed me. He checked my scheduler every morning and helped me to keep studying. If he were not my homeroom teacher, I would never finish my study for Sooneung.
I believe that even soft and tender voice has its power and can change many things just like it changed me. I will never forget his mild but powerful guide as a teacher. I really want to say thank you to him for believing me and support me consistently.
To – Yu Hyelee from - Jitendra Kumar Gupta Assignment – 2010-10-06 (Wed – 78)
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is about the benefit you got from your favorite teacher.
2. Your main point seems to be cleared.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
Words or lines - even soft and tender voice has its power and can change many things …………
I like them because human relationship is dominated by soft and tender voice.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, and writing not lively): none.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is that you should add details like his physical appearance, course he used to teach you and his way of teaching.
To Yu Hyelee from Ju Yeon Kim Assignment week 6
ReplyDelete1. What I like about your writing is that you wrote about how your teacher helped you overcome a big obstacle called "Sooneung". Every Korea students have pressure on "Sooneung" because it's such a big test, and what you wrote about how hard it is, was agreedable.
2. Your main point seems to be that your homeroom teacher hepled you go through the hard time.
3. I especially liked your sentence, "He checked my scheduler every morning and helped me to keep studying". I thought it illustrated well how your homeroom teacher helped you.
4. X
5. The biggest improvement you can make in this essay, in my opinion, is by adding details about your homeroom teacher. For instance description about his appearance, what he like, or any private conversation you had with him.
P67. 200902149 Yu Hyelee
ReplyDeleteIntro to Writing Wed 7, 8
P 67 first draft
200902149 ELI Yu Hyelee
Wonderful teacher, Hong sangchae
I had quiet tough time when I studied for Sooneung in 2008. At that time, I didn't sure about myself and lost self esteem. I failed on June and September test and started doubting myself. However, my homeroom teacher,Hong Sangchae believed me and he always gave me the power to keep going on. Every morning he smiled and encouraged me.
I start my Sooneung study in July of 2008 after finishing my first semester of university. At that time, I was very distracted and not familiar with studying all day long because I was used to being university student. Besides, I failed on my mock test so I was always mad at myself and didn't believe myself. However, my home teacher, Hong Sangchae always encouraged me. He barely talked but listened all of my words. His voice was very calm and soft just like a very considerate Santa Claus. Actually his apperance was also a bit like Santa who had a benelovent smile. There was a day when I felt the most stress, I don’t know why but I just cried all day long. Then, I just blindly went to teachers’ office and sitted in front of him crying loudly. However, he didn’t regard me as weird but waited until I calmed down. His soft and tender voice soothed me little by little. I told him that I can’t be here today and want to get out of this place. Without any word, he just wrote early leaving paper and gave that to me. I was very thankful for his behavior approving me to go out because I could feel his belief on me. After that day, I kept studied without much hardness and got a grade that I wanted. If he were not my homeroom teacher, I would never successfully finish my study for Sooneung.
I believe that even soft and tender voice has its power and can change many things just like it changed me. I will never forget his mild but powerful guide as a teacher. I really want to say thank you to him for believing me and support me consistently.
P67. 200902149 Yu Hyelee
ReplyDeleteIntro to Writing Wed 7, 8
P 67 first draft
200902149 ELI Yu Hyelee
Wonderful teacher, Hong sangchae
I had quiet tough time when I studied for Sooneung in 2008. At that time, I didn't sure about myself and lost self esteem. I failed on June and September test and started doubting myself. However, my homeroom teacher,Hong Sangchae believed me and he always gave me the power to keep going on. Every morning he smiled and encouraged me.
I start my Sooneung study in July of 2008 after finishing my first semester of university. At that time, I was very distracted and not familiar with studying all day long because I was used to being university student. Besides, I failed on my mock test so I was always mad at myself and didn't believe myself. However, my home teacher, Hong Sangchae always encouraged me. He barely talked but listened all of my words. His voice was very calm and soft just like a very considerate Santa Claus. Actually his apperance was also a bit like Santa who had a benelovent smile. There was a day when I felt the most stress, I don’t know why but I just cried all day long. Then, I just blindly went to teachers’ office and sitted in front of him crying loudly. However, he didn’t regard me as weird but waited until I calmed down. His soft and tender voice soothed me little by little. I told him that I can’t be here today and want to get out of this place. Without any word, he just wrote early leaving paper and gave that to me. I was very thankful for his behavior approving me to go out because I could feel his belief on me. After that day, I kept studied without much hardness and got a grade that I wanted. If he were not my homeroom teacher, I would never successfully finish my study for Sooneung.
I believe that even soft and tender voice has its power and can change many things just like it changed me. I will never forget his mild but powerful guide as a teacher. I really want to say thank you to him for believing me and support me consistently.