Wonderful teacher
Many people have their favorite teacher in their life. The reason for thinking him(her) as a their favorite teacher will be various. Maybe the teacher taught them the way of life, career etc. Maybe the teacher scolded them much for right life, so they remember him as a wonderful teacher. Their memory about teacher are very various. But for me, my wonderful teacher gave me a lovely dream when I was very young.
When I was 9 years old, I learned Janggu at Korean classical culb of my elementary school. It was just interesting for me to learn it. My teacher taught us very kindly. Maybe it was difficult to teach children to him. But he was very patient, and usually give us praises. For children, praise is very important, and it affects to them strongly. For me, his compliment was very important. Specially, he said to me "You are good at playing Janggu.". One day, he gave me a book that includes many songs for Janggu. And he said "I give you this book because it makes you play Janggu more well. I think that you are good at it." His compliment gave me a dream for being a Janggu player like Kim Duk Su.
Although I didn't learen Janggu more after he left our school, and I graduate my school, but he was my wonderful teacher. He gave me a beautiful memory about Janggu and gave me a lovely dream. Still, I keep that dream very preciously, and always I thanks to him.
To Lee Su Jin from Mijin Yi
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you used direct narration to deliver what your teacher told you and some important things which affected you a lot.
2. Your main point seems to be your best teacher who encouraged you to play better the Jangu when you were an elementary school student.
3. What strcuck me in your writing is: 'His compliment gave me a dream for being a Janggu player like Kim Duk Su.' because I can feel how much your compliment affected, encourage you to play the Janggu.
4. none
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is that you'd better add some more details related to how you felt when getting some complement from him and a little episode in his Janggu lesson.
To LEESUJIN FROM LEEJISUK
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you described your experience vividly and you presented the story in chronical order.
2.Your main point seems to be your precious memory when you were young regarding your teacher, who encouraged you by praising a lot.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:( For children, praise is very important, and it affects to them strongly. For me, his compliment was very important. )
you showed that children is easily affected by
praises, so it's logical that you were also affected by your teacher's praise.
4.Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved :
Specially, he said to me "You are good at playing Janggu.". One day, he gave me a book that includes many songs for Janggu. And he said "I give you this book because it makes you play Janggu more well. I think that you are good at it.
you wrote your same meaning sentence (teacher's priase) twice, so I think the first sentence can be removed.
5. you misspelled some words, and it will be great if you correct them!
1.what i like in your writing is your clear experience with yor teacher and you also good at proper examples
ReplyDelete2.Your main point seems to be your good teacher in your childhood and your standard for good teacher
3.The favorite sentence in this writing is 'His compliment gave me a dream for being a Janggu player like Kim Duk Su' using Kim Duk SU you can take concrete on your writing
4.none
5. I think if you describe more about your lovely dream ,your writing will be more rich