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p.104 Opinion Essay - 20090232 LEE JI SUK
Like many other children, my brother and I grew up watching television. My mon often controlled our watching time, but because both my mom and dad worked in business, I used to watch TV a lot at home. At that time, I was too young to understand the bad effects TV can have, but now I really agree with people who claim that parents can regulate children's watching TV.
Nowadays almost all of households have at least one television, and children's watching time increases continually. Many parents just let their children watch TV for a long time, but there are many logical reasons that children should have limit on their watching time. First, Of all the TV programs, programs made for children accounts for just 5~20%. Although some children watch only these programs, most of children watch soup operas or show programs made for adults. Second, while watching in those programs, they come to see a lot of violence and even killing, which are harmful to mental health. Third, as television watching time increases, children don't have enough time to read book. It can affect their ability to think and vocabulary. Some people say that watching TV is good for our children. it's true to some degree. Some programs made for children can be interesting educational material, but these programs are very small in quantity and children can become addicted to TV if they watch them too much.
Television can make children laugh a lot, but while watching TV, they can't think a lot. because children are easily influenced by television, parents should control their watching time and make use of them properly. |
Sunday, November 7, 2010
p104 OpInion Essay - 200902732 LEE JI SUK
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To Lee Ji suk from Kim Kyung Un pg.104
ReplyDelete1. What I like about your writing is that there are enough reasons that back up your opinion.
2. Your main point seems to be that watching T.V is bad for children.
3. In your essay, I liked the sentence, "parents should control their watching time and make use of them properly" because I thought this was a great conclusion sentence and it includes the main point you were trying to make.
4. "but while wathching TV, they can't think alot" sentence was confusing. I can kind of understand what the writer is trying to say, but i think it needs more explanation on what he/she means that TV makes us not think alot.
5. The biggest improvement you can make in your writing, in my opinion, is organization. The introduction paragraph needs a thesis sentence. I thought the hook sentence wasn't a hook but rather something he/she might mention in the body paragraph. Also, I thoought the last paragraph could have been a little bit more interesting.
1.What i like your writing is your hook, using your stroy
ReplyDelete2,Your main point seem to be bad effects od watchinf tv for children
3.'Television can make children laugh a lot, but while watching TV, they can't think a lot.' i like this sentence cause it seems like literary but enough strong to persuade us
4.none
5.
well, if you add more supporting sentences to ech reason, your wrting will be better