201000269 Kim Kyung Un
Of all the places that I have been to, there are two of my favorite places. One is Suwon city in Korea, and the other place is Kuala Lumpur capital city of Malaysia. The major reasons why I love these two cities are because of my own abundant childhood memories I made for few years and due to strong nostalgic feeling I get when thinking of them. I would like to call these two cities my dear hometown.
When I think back to these two hometowns, they have several similarities. Firstly, high buildings, condominiums, and skyscrapers are very common to find in both Suwon and KL. Suwon does not have many huge skyscrapers compared to Kuala Lumpur. However, it still consists of a large number of apartments and industries. Kuala Lumpur, as it is the capital city of Malaysia, has many high buildings, condominiums, which creates an amazing image of the whole city. Moreover, in both of these cities, multinational people with diverse cultures exist. In Suwon, there are a growing number of non Koreans every year. When I visited Suwon this year, I could spot more foreigners compared to few years ago. Since there are multinational people residing, different culture activities, conventions, and festivals are held in different parts of the city. KL is also a multinationalized city. Large percentage of Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Europeans take part of the total population of the capital city. By just shopping in China town, it is very easy to experience a completely different culture. Despite these similarities, these two cities are very different. Most noticeable fact is the weather. Malaysia has a tropical weather; therefore the environment is very different compared to Suwon, and people wear short pants and T-shirts as casual apparels. However, Korea is a four season country. So, it is hard to find forests in Suwon and fashion style of the way people wear clothes change throughout the seasons. The second thing is the difference of the pace of life. Suwon, compared to KL is a more hectic city. People are adapted to the fast pace, and I have seen many conflicts and fights due to this pace. On the other hand, people residing in Malaysia tend to go with the slow pace flow of life. The atmosphere is very relaxing and people communicate with no hard pressure. Sometimes for me, having already adapted to fast pace society, it was difficult for me to get used to the new atmosphere. However, I believe that these cities both have goods and bads.
In conclusion, having the opportunity to live in these two cities had many impacts in my life. Not only, I was able to experience different cultures but also I got to meet interesting people from different countries with whom I made amazing memories. Suwon brings me back to my early childhood memories and the fast pace of life whereas Kuala Lumpur makes me recall of the relaxing atmosphere and the experiences of bonding with different people around the world.
1. Does your thesis statement compare two subjects?
ReplyDeleteYes. You suggest first of all similiaries.
2. Does one body paragraph focus on comparison and one on contrast?
Yes. the first part is served for similiaries of the both cities and the second for differences.
3. Does each paragraph have a clear topic sentence?
Yes. You always suggest a certain topic before starting a comparison or contrast.
4. Does each topic sentence state the point of comparsion or contrast?
Yes. By suggesting a subject for each sentence, each different parts present comparison or contrast.
5. Does each body paragraph contain details to support the comparison or contrast?
Yes. each sentence has detailed statement, which helps me getting images of the two cities according similarities or diffences.
6. Did you use connectors to add coherence?
Yes. You use a variety of connectors or coherence such as 'on the other hand', 'wheareas', 'compared to' and 'however'.
Second draft
ReplyDeleteOf all the places I have been to, there are two of my favorite places. One is Suwon city in Korea, and the other place is Kuala Lumpur, the capital city of Malaysia. The major reasons why I love these two cities are because of my own abundant childhood memories I made for few years and due to strong nostalgic feeling I get when thinking of them. I would like to call these two cities my dear hometown.
When I think back to these two hometowns, they have several similarities. Firstly, high buildings, condominiums, and skyscrapers are very common to find in both Suwon and KL. Suwon does not have many huge skyscrapers compared to Kuala Lumpur. However, it still consists of a large number of apartments and industries. Kuala Lumpur, as it is the capital city,, has many high buildings, condominiums, which creates an amazing image of the whole city. Moreover, in both of these cities, multinational people with diverse cultures exist. In Suwon, there are a growing number of non Koreans every year. When I visited Suwon this year, I could spot more foreigners compared to few years ago. Since there are multinational people residing, different culture activities, conventions, and festivals are held in different parts of the city. KL is also a multinationalized city. Large percentage of Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Europeans take part of the total population of the capital city. By just shopping in China town, it is very easy to experience a completely different culture from its local culture. Despite these similarities, these two cities are very different. Most noticeable fact is the weather. Malaysia has a tropical weather; therefore the environment is very different compared to Suwon, and people wear short pants and T-shirts as casual apparels. However, Korea is a four season country. So, it is hard to find forests in Suwon and fashion style of the way people wear clothes change throughout the seasons. The second thing is the difference of the pace of life. Suwon, compared to KL is a more hectic city. People are adapted to the fast pace, and I have seen many conflicts and fights due to this pace. On the other hand, people residing in Malaysia tend to go with the slow pace flow of life. The atmosphere is very relaxing and people communicate with no hard pressure. Sometimes for me, having already adapted to fast pace society, it was difficult for me to get used to the new atmosphere. However, I believe that these cities both have goods and bads.
In conclusion, having the opportunity to live in these two cities had many impacts in my life. Not only, was I able to experience different cultures but also I got to meet interesting people from different countries with whom I made amazing memories. Suwon brings me back to my early childhood memories and the fast pace of life whereas Kuala Lumpur makes me recall of the relaxing atmosphere and the experiences of bonding with different people around the world