P.119 - 200902732 LEE JI SUK / wed78 People usually ask someone this question, "Do you like mountain or sea?" I live in Incheon, which is located near the west sea, and there is Kyeyang mountain around my apartment. so, I used to go hiking or go to the sea on weekends with my family, At first, I thought mountain and sea are very different but as time goes by, I realized that they also have some similarities. Both mountain and sea make people feel cool. Many trees in mountain give shade to people to sit and rest, cold water of sea also help people to avoid the heat. So people crowd into there particularly in summer. Because they are part of the nature, they don't change over time, they give people emotional stability and people refresh themselves with the great of the nature. Sea and mountain also have some differences. Hiking is not an easy thing as mountain has some slopes, but one can feel fulfilled after he or she reach the summit of mountain. In contrast, although one can feel a sense of accomplishment through swimming, sea doesn't have difficulties to reach. Also, mountain has diverse colors as season changes, green in summer and red and yellow in fall. Unlike mountain, sea has only one color throughout the year. In conclusion, mountain and sea look different, but they also have something in common in terms of nature. They won't change forever and always be with us. |
Sunday, November 14, 2010
P119 - 200902732 LEE JI SUK
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1. Does your thesis statement compare two subjects?
ReplyDeleteYes. You mentioned to speak of not only differences of both but also similarities.
2. Does one body paragraph focus on comparison and one on contrast?
There are some different parts of body paragraph on similiarities and differences. They are not gathered out in a certain order but dispersed.
3. Does each body paragraph have a clear topic sentence? Not for each paragraph. For example, You seemed to start talking about differences but on hiking and swimming part, you mention again a difference. You didn't mark on it any certain subject.
4. Does each topic sentence state the point of comparison or contrast? By stating ideas, each paragraph contains comparison or contrast.
5. Does each body paragraph contain details to support the comparison or contrast?
You try to add some details to support your ideas but I don't think that they are detail enough to help readers describe well those differences.
6. Did you use connectors to add coherence?
Yes. You use some connectors such as 'in contrast' and 'unlike' for contrast.
1. Yes, sea and mountain
ReplyDelete2. Yes, the body paragraph focus on contrast.
3. Yes, she put main sentences in a paragraph.
4. Yes
5. Yes, this paragraph containes many detailes.
6. yes, for example, 'in contrast, unlike'