To Have a Dream Bag
I have a strange habit. When I take a bus or subway, I look around and take a keen look at people. It's like some kind of research. I watch many peoples' looks. In Korea, it is easy to catch a trend. Because many people are sensitive to fashion and it reflected them to have similar looks. I watched carefully to students or ladies who are older than me. I compared those bags that they have and imagine what is best for me. Then I came up with a few bags in my shopping list. I went to department store and checked a price. As I thought, the cost was huge. And some bags were out of order. I had to wait and accumulate the money.
In order to have my dream bag, I needed to get money. First, I asked my mom to buy me as an early birthday gift. She immediately said 'no'. Finally I got a part time job. For a month, I worked as a teaching assistance in English camp held at Chung Shim International Academic School. I was thrilled by teaching third grader students. They were noisy and messy, yet they had a full of passion in studying English. Not only I had a good experience to share my knowledge with these children, but also I was able to save money.
I still cannot forget the day I bought my bag. Some might say it is too expensive and luxurious for college student to buy, but I argue that it's the bag that I dreamed of and I worked hard to achieve. Rather than spent money on cosmetics, I choose to have a bag. To get what I want, I inquired of bags. I contemplated long enough to have a right choice. Then, I started to save money. A part time job helped me to raise money. It wasn't easy at the first time, but now I know how to save money and achieve at something.
To Chung Kyungseo From Yu Hyelee(200902149 ELI)
ReplyDeleteAssignment 2010-11-28
1. What I like about this piece of writing is your subject. To me, it is really funny and fresh topic.
2. Your main point seems that your way to get dream bag.
3. “I compared those bags that they have and imagine what is best for me. Then I came up with a few bags in my shopping list.” struck me strongly because it shows how much you love bags. I think it's really good example to show your affection towards bags.
4. Everything is clear to me :D
5. I think this is really well written! But if you add the reason you love bag then it could be much better than now.
1. What I lie about this writing is your quite detailed description. It gives me clear images on how you finally got to buy the bag you had dreamed of.
ReplyDelete2. Your main point seems how to achieve your goal: buying the bag what your have dreamt of.
3. I like this part; To get what I want, I inquired of bags. I contemplated long enough to have a right choice.
because it means that you didn't buy the bag without any effort but with huge consideration and effort.
4. Everything is clear
5. I think you would better arrange a little bit your writing. Your ideas are somewhat scattered or repeated and it gives me impression that this writing is not well organized.
And also, I think that the story of your observation on people in the bus is not necessary.
Most women interest in make-up, clothes and bags. Many of my friends spend their allowance buying cosmetic products. Since I don’t wear make-up, I turn my eyes into shoes and bags. I was not very into fashion. But when I saw a TV series Gossip Girl, I was amazed by these bags that main character carries. Instead buying small cosmetic items, I always want to have a bag, “The bag”. However, the bag costs me a lot. Its brand is so popular and expensive for me to get. So I made a plan to get my dream bag. What I did was getting a part time job and comparing costs and designs.
ReplyDeleteI have a strange habit. When I take a bus or subway, I look around and take a keen look at people. It’s like some kind of research. I watch many peoples’ looks. In Korea, it is easy to catch a trend. Because many people are sensitive to fashion and it reflected them to have similar looks. I watched carefully to students or ladies who are older than me. I compared those bags that they have and imagine what is best for me. Then I came up with a few bags in my shopping list. I went to department store and checked a price. As I thought, the cost was huge. And some bags were out of order. I had to wait and accumulate the money.
In order to have my dream bag, I needed to get money. First, I asked my mom to buy me as an early birthday gift. She immediately said ‘no’. I had to think substitute; So, I got a part time job. For a month, I worked as a teaching assistance in English camp held at Chung Shim International Academic School. I was thrilled by teaching third grader students. They were noisy and messy, yet they had a full of passion in studying English. Not only I had a good experience to share my knowledge with these children, but also I was able to save money.
I still cannot forget the day I bought my bag. Some might say it is too expensive and luxurious for college student to buy, but I argue that it’s the bag that I dreamed of and I worked hard to achieve. Rather than spent money on cosmetics, I choose to have a bag. To get what I want, I inquired of bags. I contemplated long enough to have a right choice. Then, I started to save money. A part time job helped me to raise money. It wasn’t easy at the first time, but now I know how to save money and achieve at something.